Christmas in July 5k and 10k Recap


Sup, runfam? How many are you are waddling around after the RNR Half yesterday? Sorry I can’t join in on that fun, because I chose to opt out of yesterday’s race because I’m a giant slacker face that didn’t want to go run at the butt crack of dawn after two nights of racing here in my home town in a whimsical ball of fail.

Christmas in July was a weekend of racing put on by Runners for Wellness here in Lisle, and the races included a 5k, 10k, and 6/12/24 Ultra options. The race took place in Quad Killer Central Lisle Community Park. Let me just say that this race is hands down the best suburban race happening right now. I love a good ‘runner’s race’ and if you have 24hr runners with smiles on their faces at hour 22? You’re doing something right.

The event kicked off Friday night with the kid’s fun run with Santa. This was great, because it was free, and the kids got numbers, T-shirts and medals for participating. Tater and Hushpuppy loved it, as you can see in the below pics. Hushpuppy wore his medal all day Sunday he was so proud of himself.


The races started right on time, there were great post race drinks and snacks available, the race directors and volunteers were friendly, helpful and just all around awesome. Runners were given some of the best swag out there with tech hats, nice shirts, and really well done finisher medals.

And the age group awards? Nutcracker trophies! Probably the cutest thing ever.

I needed one of those.

Ok…so let’s talk about me and how awful I was, because I haven’t run this horribly since like, ever. I knew I would struggle, because 8pm is bedtime not running time, and it’s not like I get to lay around all day with my feet up in preparation for racing at night. Life could care freaking less.

I had an insanely stressful day on Friday and my heart rate along with my blood pressure was jacked up pretty much all day. I was also a hot mess nutritionally, so I knew it was going to be a straight up disaster. I just knew. Of course my friends show up right before the race, so I get nervous on top of my dread, and I wound up shooting out of the start like my hair was on fire, and clocked a ridiculous 7:32 first mile. I’m dumb. By the second mile, I was feeling puketastic, and was pretty sure I was going to DNF a freaking 5k. Stoopid Community Park! I am cursed when it comes to racing here. Cursed, I say!

I wound up finishing the 5k the 10th overall female and 6th in the 30-39 age group. No Nutcracker Trophy for this girl. Nope.

Saturday I woke up SICK. The intestinal issues were back full force, and I won’t go into all of the gory details, but let’s just say hydration was going to be an issue. I was super dehydrated. By lunch time it had subsided, so I was able to fuel with some sugar and carbs, and I actually felt ok by the time the race started.

The first half went well, I was actually on track to PR, but then around mile 4 my intestines reminded me that it was time to get my medication adjusted and try not to crap my pants the last 2 miles of the race. It was bad times. Like, really bad times. But I got through it and I was for sure I wouldn’t get a Nutcracker trophy. It had ended up being the worst 10k time I have EVER run. Pathetically awful. The curse of Community Park continues…

But hey! It was my lucky day! Turns out, the lady that won my age group was an overall winner, so my 4th place turned into a 3rd, and I WAS GETTING A NUTCRACKER! So that made it worth it. I was happy.

Christmas in July

I really hope this event takes off and becomes even bigger and better next year. I do think it needs some food vendors, though. You can’t really go sit your stank butt in a restaurant after a nighttime race. We have so many local restaurants in Lisle, it would’ve been great to have a couple of food trucks out there to visit post race. I also think having the races on a weekend that doesn’t compete with such a huge event like the RnR Chicago would’ve encouraged more runners to give it a whirl.

Definitely a race I will do again and again, even if Community Park will always be my running nemesis.


Ho-ho-ho! Let’s do some ‘Christmas in July’ racing!


Whenever there’s a race in my hometown, I get super jazzed. Remember the neon yellow and doodoo brown ‘Turkey Trot’ hoodie I wore with pride like an Olympic medal because it took place practically in my back yard? Well dust off those ugly Christmas sweaters, and get Santa a good SPF because we’re about to have Christmas in July here in the Chicago suburb of practically Iowa Lisle, July 18th and 19th.

The event will be a health and wellness expo held at Lisle Community Park (literally steps from the Metra, so you city people don’t have to act like you’re trekking across the earth to the wilderness known as the ‘Western Suburbs’) and will feature a totally FREE kids fun-run complete with bib, medal, and T-shirt…a 5k, 10k, 6hour,  12 hour race, and a 24 hour race for you super awesome road beasts out there.

Here’s some other info from the event…


  • Fun run (kids races) are FREE and all participants will receive an AWESOME medal, a t-shirt, a bib. 2 runs – Friday night and Saturday night 30 minutes before 5K/10K.
  • Evening races on both Friday and Saturday nights: 5K – Friday at 8:00, 10K – Saturday at 7:30 PM
  • Ultra timed events, All start on Friday night kicking off with 24 Hour from 10 PM – 10 PM Saturday; 12 Hour 11:00 PM – 11:00 AM, and 6 hour 12 AM – 6 AM.
  • Ultras – no DNF – run as much or as little as you like! All participants get an award plus get cotton/poly wicking shirt AND hoodie!
  • Fully stocked aid station with meals served for ultras. Water, electrolyte drink, and snacks at the 5k/10k aid station.
  • Wellness festival
  • 5k and 10k participants get a cotton/poly wicking shirt, a tech hat, and medal.
  • Overall and age group awards.

For more info and to register head over to the official ‘Christmas in July‘ website. Online registration ends 7/13/14 and code ‘JustARoad10’ will get you 10% off your entry.  The courses are great, Lisle is a an awesome running community and I can’t wait to see you guys there!

Here’s a look at the 5k course. I’ve run this course 4,328,993 times and it’s fast. Very fast.

Keeping Cool on the Run



It’s that time of year again…hating your life running outside because it’s hot, and this is what the weather forecast says…


This week in Chicago has probably been the worst as far as heat and humidity, and you would seriously walk outside the door and instantly become covered in sweat. Then you start out on your run and while you feel like you’re putting out an Olympic speed record, you look at your watch and you’re not even sure if people can tell if you’re running or not. It’s so frustrating. I did 3miles of hill repeats yesterday and thought a major organ was going to become dislodged from my body. The sweat was an actual situation, like the brim of my hat was wet. The brim.


So like last year, I’m going to hit you up with some tips for staying cool during your run when it feels like Satan’s jockstrap outside.

Freeze a bandana or scarf and wear it around your neck

This is my favorite, and works like a charm. Just get a pack of those cheapie packs of bandanas at Walmart or Target soak them in water, freeze and tie it around your neck before you head out. It should keep you cool for about half an hour before it totally melts.

Don’t run at high noon

File this under ‘duh’ because, duh. Get those morning runs in early, or run later at night when it cools off a bit. When in doubt, go inside.

Have hydration on hand

I run with a handheld bottle, you might like fuel belts or camelbacks better. You’re going to lose gobs of sweat, and you don’t want to get yourself into a dangerous situation where you’re depleted and looking at a bad case of heat exhaustion/stroke. I like to freeze my bottle half full and then fill it with regular water so it stays cold on my run.

Dress for success

Now is not the time for cotton, or anything that doesn’t move and breathe. Loose fitting, tech fabrics in light colors are the way to go.


Believe it or not, sunscreen can make you feel 20% cooler on a hot day.

Cover your head

I used to be a hat snob. I thought running with a hat on was just lame looking and I wasn’t about to go out there and look lame now! Then I almost died during the 2013 Chicago Women’s Half Marathon, and I started wearing a visor or a hat during the summer. It works. Do it.

Most importantly, go easy and be kind to yourself if you’re running at a way slower pace or need to take walk breaks to get through your training runs. Welcome to the human race. Your body will eventually acclimate and the struggle won’t be so real anymore. Also know that you need to stop if you start feeling cold, tingly, light headed, or short of breath. Those are danger signs and you need to see a medical professional immediately.

Happy Running! Or at least sorta happy running.

**This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

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Race Recap: 2014 Steamboat Classic

steamboat start

Oops I did it again…

I ran that stinkin’ Steamboat Classic again. The great thing about being a runner is that you get this thing called ‘amnesia’ and you forget that last year you ran the 15k distance of this race, saw Baby Jesus, begged a frat boy to spray you with a hose, and pretty much came a hair away from a DNF. Never again! I yelled shaking my fist to the sky. But I then remembered that the Steamboat Classic also has a 4 mile and a 4k race. I can stage a comeback and possibly not die over 4 miles, right?

Or maybe even win.


steamboat winner 1

And no, I’m never running that ‘Worlds Toughest 15k’ again as long as I live. That’s just crazy talk. When I watched the 15k runners head off into the park to go climb up endless mountains, I was like, “So long suckas!” and continued on the much better ‘World’s Fastest 4 Miler’.

Oh and I won (did I mention that already?). Not overall, don’t be silly, but I won my division, and after 7 months away from racing, that felt really rad.

So let’s talk about it.

Once again the packet pick up was at the River Plex, and it still went with old fashioned shoe-chip timing, and I think there were issues with the timing system this year. They seemed to have worked out the kinks, but at first the results were bananas. Like, how could a person I beat pretty solidly have a pace time just .02 slower? So it was nitpicky things like that. No big whoop, but not something you see very much anymore.

Check in was easy peasy, not much of an expo, and I was in and out of there in 5 minutes. Everyone is super friendly and it’s just a fun atmosphere. It really is a ‘runner’s race’.

Now let’s get down to business.

Race Day again was super easy to navigate. The start had moved to Main and Adams, which wasn’t a big deal. There seemed to be a LOT more people racing this year. Unlike last year when it was 2349° with 115% humidity, the weather was cool and dry in the mid 50’s at the start of the race. So idea conditions all around. I was so nervous. Like freak out, banana pants nervous. So I had to head to the porta potties before the race.

Last year I wrote about the biggest problem with this race was the porta potty situation. There just simply weren’t enough. Same goes for this year, too. I don’t know if it’s a city ordinance or what, but they need more potties. It was ridiculous. I wound up sneaking in to the Capital Building and heading up to the bathrooms on the 4th floor, but as I waited in line, the flushers started to fail from the overuse. I’m a jerk, but I’m not, “Drop a nervous deuce in a toilet that doesn’t flush” jerk, so I ran back downstairs and headed to the now empty porta potties as the announcer called 5 minutes to the gun.

Just like last year. My warmup will be sprinting to the start corral.

I made it with about 45 seconds to spare, probably with toilet paper hanging off my shoe, and lined up in the 9 minute corral. I knew I had a chance at a divisional placement, but I hadn’t run with a watch for a month, on a new training plan and diet, and a total headcase, so I thought it would be best to play it conservative for the first mile and see how it went.

Looking back, I think I went through the same thing last year. There is a lot of newbie traffic in this race. Tons of little kids, dogs, strollers, first timers, etc. So the start corrals are a bit of a waste because it seemed like all of the 9 minuters were really running 12’s. And that’s fine! Just glad to see people out there running, but for future reference, I need to remember to line up in the 8’s for a good start. Did a lot of bobbing and weaving, and it mentally frustrated me.

First mile: 9:18

I actually raised my eyebrow at that because since I’ve been running on pure effort lately and not time, I wasn’t even pushing myself for that split.

Mile 2 was still congested because we were running with the 15ks and didn’t split off until the turnaround which was still jammed with people, narrow and slow, now I was being a jerk and silently cursing people out in my mind who were just trotting along like this was some kind of shakeout run. WE’RE RACING, PEOPLE!

Dude Gif

Second mile: 9:08

I still wasn’t feeling like I was putting out that much effort yet. I usually really struggle in the first 3 miles of any race, especially in miles one and two because I’m slow to warm up. Could this be all of that dreaded speed training and weightlifting paying off? Not mindfucking myself daily with the watch and running based on feel alone? Wow. Maybe there really is a method to my evil coach’s madness after all.

Now as we headed back into town, the crowd was gone and I opened up the ol’ engine. I half expected the ‘Worlds Fastest 4 Miler’ to be completely downhill, but in reality, it’s almost identical to the ‘Shamrock Shuffle 8K’ course in that it’s really flat. Little hiccup elevation changes, but nothing memorable. It was a complete straight shot from mile 2 to mile 3 and I just sat back and kicked.

Third mile: 8:53

Wow. In my entire life I have never run a negative split race. Ever. Not even in my younger days. I am usually all over the place. This is pure insanity. I’m actually doing this right and I don’t feel like dying yet! Holy crap!

Now I was excited, and I kicked even harder. This was better than SF 10 miler last year and I was probably in the best shape of my life for that race.

I wanted to break 36 for this race. Missed it by 16 seconds.

Fourth Mile: 8:42

I crossed the finish line pissed that I missed my goal by exactly those 18 seconds I wasted weaving through traffic. Then I stopped myself and I was like, “You just ran a negative split race after 7 months off, pretty damn fast too. SHUT UP.”  Then after I cleared that madness out of my brain, I was like, wait a minute…I might have a divisional placement here.


So I did what every champion does…shotgunned a couple of beers before 8am, ate some of the food they had out and chilled with my homies til the placements were posted. The Steamboat Classic has one of the best post races out there. Band, food, endless beer, fun, it’s the best.

Finally, they start posting the time sheets, and I ran up there to see how I did, expecting maybe to eek out a 3rd. Maybe.

My name was at the top. I freaking won.

Maybe it was the beer before 9am, but for whatever reason I started crying. I know it was only a divisional win, but for whatever reason it meant a lot to me. Every race is special and an accomplishment, but I think because I got serious and listened to a coach for a change, putting trust into a training plan and surrendering my need to control everything, the win was symbolic of that.

So there’s that. I’m going to sit down with good ol’ Patches tonight and come up with another goal race and training plan…something that’s going to keep me on my path to the 1:45 goal at the Chicago Half and defending my Oak Brook Half title this September. But I can’t stress enough how much having a plan that works for you is everything. I’m not just talking about cutting out a magazine training plan and trying to follow it, but looking at who you are as a person. For me, my large muscular frame was treated as an asset and not a reason why I could never be fast. I can’t eat pasta, bread, and the like and do endless miles, I’m not built for it. Just changing that mindset helped a lot, but it wasn’t easy. I had to trust, put my watch in the drawer for a month, and give up control, admitting to myself that I really don’t know everything. Track workouts, a cyclical ketogenic diet, and weight training made all the difference, and actually made me a better runner than I had been when I had to take a break last year. Truth to the fact that if you surrender your own head noise, have some faith and trust in those who want to help you, things can only get better.


**The links in this post are affiliate links and I will receive a small commission if you make a purchase after clicking on my link.

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#1000Miles: Pre Race jitters, a review, and other randoms…

wine gif


Hiya sportsfans. I’ve been swamped with this crazy idea that I could raise three kids,  go back to school, train for races, work full time, blog part time, get a book out the door and all of that jazz and never have a day where I just stare out the window and go, “uhhhhh…” I’m having one of those days, really. I think it’s the rain. That stupid Polar Vortex mind melded me into some kind of seasonal depressive that cannot tolerate anything but constant sunshine. Anytime it rains or is cloudy and cold, I immediately become Eeyore.

So I was like, “Whatever, maybe a totally random blog will help me clear the cobwebs and get the juices flowing a bit. I forgot to tell everyone that Mizuno and GNC put my goofy mug on their websites.”

And here we are. GNC and Mizuno put my goofy mug on their websites.


Mizuno Web

beat average

This weekend marks my return to racing as I run the ‘Steamboat Classic’ 4miler. This race is dubbed the ‘World’s Fastest 4 Miler’ and that’s a lot more appealing than the 15k I ran at the Steam Boat Classic last year which is dubbed You’ll scream for your mommy, see baby Jesus and puke “World’s Toughest 15K”.

Ugh. I cringe just reliving that race. It was the living WORST. But hopefully the 4 miler is a better race that doesn’t include endless repetitive hills and Frat boys spraying you with a hose as you run by because the heat index is above 90°. I am running this race with SO MANY people on my heart this weekend. From Elizabeth, who I promised to be her legs way back when and my own legs decided to die on me there for a while, to my friend J who is recovering from a horrific accident, my friend Irene who just underwent major brain surgery last week, and a couple others…I wish I could go out there and win a dozen medals for them.

I do have the jitters, though. I am confident as heck about my training, and feel like I’m ready, especially after yesterday’s 5k time trial. I’ve never run a 4 mile race, but my 5K ten-year PR and my 5 mile ten year PR makes me think that I can snag a divisional placement. I know, I walked into this trap at this same exact race last year. I went into it totally cocky after reading the previous year’s times and was all, “Hills? I freaking OWN hills. I’ve got this race won, baby!” then much to my surprise I learned that ‘hills’ meant ‘the sides of mountains’ and I came very close to my first DNF. This time, however, I am being really realistic and I do think that a divisional placement isn’t beyond the realm of possibility. It’s also making me a little bit nervous, too because now I’m putting a ton of pressure on myself to win. I usually do my best when I stagger up to a start line hungover, undertrained, and half injured because I seriously give no fricks. Now that I’ve put the time in, trained, and take this seriously, watch me stink up the place and have to write a recap about how much I sucked.

I know. I’m nuts. I’ll shut up now. Sorry.

So let’s talk gear! I recently got some SWAGALICIOUSNESS from lululemon, MPG, and New Balance and I need to tell you about it or they’re gonna be all, “So uh…Jenn, we like sent you swag and stuff to blog about…you gonna blog or what?”

Let’s start with lululemon…

Because I have monster thighs and wide hips, I really struggle with finding great running bottoms. MPG really holds it down with their running short and skirt line, and I almost exclusively race in their bottoms, but lululemon recently came out with two new shorts, the ‘Run Times’ and the ‘Dart and Dash’. Both are made specifically for athletes with…wait for it…athletic bodies… and they’re longer for us taller chicks that don’t like to flash our unicorn to passersby on our run.

dart and dash

First the Dart and Dash short. This is a distance short that is that perfect hybrid of racing brief and tri short. Good coverage, super light, comfortable, no chafing seams, and pockets forever. You could seriously pack a picnic lunch in those things. I wore them for my last two long runs, and they were great. I will also be racing in these shorts this weekend, too. The Luxtreme fabric and 4 way stretch is amazing, but I do have 2 complaints. 1.) Once you put stuff in the pockets you look like you have saddle bags. It’s weird looking. 2.) This Luxtreme fabric takes the sweat off of you, but leaves it nowhere to go, so it just runs down your leg, and gives you the “I just peed my pants” crotch sweat look. Which..whatever, I don’t care what I look like after a long run. Love me, love my crotch sweat, I say. They’re pricey at $58, but I would buy them. Totally worth it.

The second short from lulu is the ‘Run Times’ short made to replace my personal lulu favorite, the Groovy Run short.

lulu run times side

(That picture isn’t altered, or else I would’ve shopped out my cellulite)Now to me, an idiot, I couldn’t tell much of a difference between the ‘Run Times’ short and the ‘Groovy Run’ short other than the fit is much slimmer through the hips and legs. I actually like the Groovy Run short a bit better. But whatever. This is actually a very decent running short, and like the Dart and Dash short, it has the Luxtreme fabric and no chafing. I wore these shorts on a 4 mile tempo treadmill run and a hill workout, and they were fine. I did leave puddles of sweat all over the treadmill because the Luxtreme fabric wicks a little too well. Again, no chafing, fit well, works great. These are a bit cheaper at $54. Worth it? Meh. I thought MPG’s running short line was better.

Finally, you all know I’m a Mizuno girl, and this is one of the reasons why. This year they’re doing the ‘Baton Project’ which will donate your mileage for the week in dollars to the ‘Back on My Feet’ foundation. Head on over to their website to see how you can get involved, even if you don’t use Mizuno products, you should be a part of the cause. Heck, I’ll even pass the baton to you after I put in my mileage.

So I guess that’s it for today. See you awesome people on the flipside.

Happy National Running Day and Overcoming Discouragement


Happy National Running Day!

I don’t know what to say about that beyond, “Go for a run today, everyone is doing it!”

So go run.

What I really wanted to talk about today was overcoming discouragement. As a runner, I am an intense Type-A looney tunes and can get discouraged quite easily. Perfectionism and all that jazz. Which is why I left my watch at home when I started race training again because I knew if I just coughed up a lung giving a long run all I had and looked down to see something ridiculous I would probably eat my feelings on the couch for the rest of the day.

It’s also really easy to sit here and regurgitate a lot of platitudes and cliches about being discouraged to motivate you, and I don’t even believe those things myself. This morning I saw the requisite “Wake up and be awesome!” meme on my Instacrack feed this morning and I was all, “Die. I’m sore as hell, out of coffee creamer,  and today is stupid.”

I should be a motivational speaker with that attitude, right?

Anyhoo, I wanted to talk about this because I hit a wall of discouragement while out on my long run this weekend and it was a tough thing to overcome. I went into my long run feeling super jazzy because I had just received a box of lululemon swag to review, and I had been sticking to my training plan like a damn boss and feeling great. I was ready to eat those 8 miles for breakfast. It was hot, but I had my cool refreshing drink in hand, so let’s do this.

It just didn’t happen that way. Everything went wrong.

First of all, now that I’m not running with music, I hear birds. I am terrified of birds. Have a fear of spiders? I have that same fear of birds. Especially since I was attacked by both a bird and a goose at this time last year.

My long run starts off on a pretty wooded trail, and this red-winged blackbird, aka flying asshole, was keeping tabs on me by flying directly overhead and squawking the whole time. Then eventually determined that I was some kind of predatory threat and dive bombed the crap out of me. So I ducked and screamed my head off like I was being killed, of course. Obviously that bird had issues and was definitely rabid and violent.

After that, I keep chugging along through this office park and fml, there’s a damn goose and his wife ready to rumble. So I crossed the street and like the damn scaredy cat I am, I kicked it into high gear to avoid certain death at the beaks of obviously deranged and rabid geese.

So by the first mile, I’m freaking cashed out. I just had two heart attacks and two 4oo meter dead sprints. Only 7 miles to go!

I’m on a main road now, getting ready to climb a pretty challenging set of hills. Apparently Red Winged Asshole Blackbird, alerted his buddies up the road, and one of them harassed me up the biggest hill. Nothing like sprinting up an insane hill to get the blood pumping and killing your legs dead!

By the time I got to the first stoplight, I was like, okay, whatever. Maybe I should just double back and call it a day. The birds hate me, my lungs are on fire, and my legs are dead. I do not have another 6 miles in me. Nope. This sucks, running sucks, and I should just spend my summer at the pool drinking. Whatever.

Somehow I talked myself into soldiering on, I don’t know why, I just did, and by the time I made it to my first water stop, I was feeling a bit better. So I literally told myself that, “You’re feeling better, Jenn! Of course you were tired, you just did a speed workout! But you kept going and that’s good!”

It’s true. I’m that simple of a creature.

For the rest of the run, I played all sorts of mental gymnastics with myself. Reminding of the long run last year on the same route I bailed on because my legs absolutely died and I was probably in peak condition then. So it just happens whether you’re mid-training or just starting. It’s not indicative of anything other than you’re just not having a good day. It can also be turned around.

And that’s what happened. I talked to myself like a total mental patient, and by mile 5, the run had totally turned around and I finished a lot stronger than I had just the week prior. I even kicked out the last 800m really hard, whereas last week, I slammed on the brakes as soon as I hit the street corner. Many pats on the back, atta girls, and what started out as the worst run ever turned into a great long run.

I think overcoming discouragement basically boils down to believing in your ability to go on. Just surrendering yourself to the truth of, “Yeah this sucks right now, but it isn’t forever” and staying on course can result in a totally different outcome. If it doesn’t, at least you can relish in the accomplishment of not giving up, and that’s still something.

Your Super Rad 4 Week 10k Training Plan

10k post

What up runners and fitness freaks? If you’re following me over on the Instacrack, you’ve been seeing my jazzy runner self covering some mileage and signing up for races. I’m super jazzy about coming back full throttle now. I even did a track workout today! Huzzah!

Anyhoozer, I have committed to some races over the summer…even the dreaded Steamboat Classic! But the 4 miler this year…not the crazy pants 15k where I saw Baby Jesus a few times. A handful of shorter distances on the calendar, and I’m hoping to whip my hienie back in shape to conquer that 1:45 half at the Chicago Half Marathon in the fall. Maybe even running for Team Bright Pink again.

My first race is coming up in less than a month. I’m hoping it’s the Possum Run 10k outside of Atlanta, but if my travel plans fall through, my fallback race will be the DG Five Miler here in good ol’ Chi Suburbia. Either way, I have a month to whip dis ass into shape. So I consulted everyone’s favorite crotchety local coach, Patches O’Houlihan, and he gave me this rad 4 week plan. Now, this is an advanced/experienced runner plan. If you’re a newbie or coming off a long hiatus, consult someone who knows what they’re talking about to tailor this plan for your needs. Also, if you’re some kind of good runner, you might need a little more in your plan. But if you’re a average age grouper competing against your best, this so far is my most favorite plan to date.

Now I only take one complete rest day a week. My body is ok with that. Yours might not be and that’s ok. Take two. Also, after a hard workout, go easy on yourself the next day if possible. You will get faster if you recover than if you go run your pants off everyday. You also don’t want to injure yourself. That would defeat the purpose of running a plan at all.

Week 1:

Day 1: 4 mile tempo run

Day 2: 2 mile speed fartlek

Day 3: Rest (or active rest: yoga, cycling, swimming)

Day 4: 3 miles easy, plus three hill repeats

Day 5: 7 mile long run

Day 6: 2.5 mile shake out run

Day 7 rest

Week 2:

Day 1: 4 mile tempo run

Day 2: 4 x 800 meters

Day 3: Rest (or active rest: yoga, cycling, swimming)

Day 4: 3 miles easy, plus three hill repeats

Day 5: 8 mile long run

Day 6: 2.5 mile shake out run

Day 7 rest

Week 3:

Day 1: 4 mile tempo run

Day 2: 5 x 800 meters

Day 3: Rest (or active rest: yoga, cycling, swimming)

Day 4: 3 miles easy, plus three hill repeats

Day 5: 10k practice time trial at tempo pace with 5 x 30 seconds at race pace

Day 6: 2.5 mile shake out run

Day 7 rest

Week 4:

Day 1: Cross train for 30 minutes. You’ve earned it.

Day 2: Sit on your couch and eat chips. I’m kidding. But it’s a total rest day.

Day 3: 2.5 mile tempo run.

Day 4: Sit on your couch, part 2.

Day 5: 3 mile shake out run. Super duper easy pace.

Day 6: Sit on your couch and hydrate. You’ve got a race tomorrow.


So we’ll see how this goes. I’ve never ‘trained’ for a 10k before, so it’ll be interesting to see how this works out. Tweak this plan to work for you, of course. The philosophy is to gain strength, endurance, and speed quickly. Turns out you really can make that happen efficiently without running a bajillion miles a week. I’m still a skeptic, but I didn’t puke after my track workout today, so there’s that, I guess. I do add a lot of strength training and core work to this plan, because I have to do a lot of this training in the gym, so since I’m there…

What are some of your favorite race training plans? Do you always need a plan for racing or do you mostly wing it?



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**The links in this post are affiliate links and I will receive a small commission if you make a purchase after clicking on my link.

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You Don’t Have To Eat Sad Food To Eat Clean Food!

food post

Oscar the Grouch is apropo of nothing. He just works.

The term “clean eating” is getting a lot of use lately. Which is great! I think a lot of the issues in American health today have to do with our garbage food supply. I’ve been working with the National Restaurant Association’s #KidsLiveWell campaign over the last week, and it’s nice to see that they are taking the initiative of expanding the average child’s palate beyond corn dogs and chicken fingers. I happen to be one of those dirty hippies who believes a lot of the additives in our food are the cause of the increase in certain childhood disorders, like autism. Here’s a pretty eye opening article on the effects of certain dyes found in many popular foods.

While “clean eating” has many definitions for many people, mine is pretty simple. I like my food to have as little processing as possible, no GMO’s, artificial sweeteners, refined sugars and HFCS, and no factory farmed dairy or animal protein. That shit will kill you quick. I began eating clean last July, and sang of its benefits for the better part of six months over on JSJ! No super vegan-paleo-glutenfree-nastyshake-ickypoo just good food. You can still get yer meat and taters, bro.


Food Post 2

A couple of healthy living bloggers I love to hate just seriously died upon viewing this picture. The carbs alone killed them. Sorry not sorry.

But that’s the thing! You have to eat, yo. Even if you’re trying to lose weight, you have to give your body the food it needs. Any ‘guru’ out there telling you they’re running a bajillion miles and taking a psychotic amount of spin classes then eating egg whites with a pound of red pepper flakes is A.) Totally lying and hitting that drive thru HARD when they leave the gym B.) deep in a disorder you do not want to emulate because it will kill the average peasant C.) Probably has really stinky farts.

Exhibit A…a post on Instagram that is indicative of oh…the majority of what ‘Healthy Living Bloggers’ post…


This is a spaghetti squash frittata with coconut sautéed mushrooms; topped with mashed avocado and strawberry slices.

This is sad food, people! Don’t let the happy red strawberries fool you! This dish is practically weeping it’s so sad. Like, who is getting joy from eating this? Who puts “Eat more mashed avocado that isn’t guacamole” on their bucket list? Close your eyes and imagine what these flavors as described must taste like. Are you gagging yet? It’s like a baby food medley that hasn’t hit the food processor yet.

Now I get it…people have actual reasons for eating weird stuff. There are certain disorders and health conditions that benefit from a restrictive diet. I was a vegan for a very long time. I totally get it. But why the sad food combinations? Let’s compare two cereals.


This is a happy, clean cereal. It would be vegan without the honey, but you get it. It looks like oatmeal. Oatmeal with the delicious awesomeness of coconut milk.


This is another blogger’s food post. Yes, this is a sad cereal and representative of something Kina horked up this morning. What is it you ask? Oatmeal soaked in something called InBru. Coffee made out of rice hulls. This is SAD CEREAL, PEOPLE.

I’m not trying to be a brutal hater, but I just think more people would eat a cleaner, healthier diet if they weren’t shown that this is the way to go. You can pretty much adapt any recipe you want to suit your needs without it looking like the charred remains of what food used to look like, or dog vomit. You’re living a healthier lifestyle to LIVE life, right? SO LIVE LIFE and eat happy, clean food.

So there’s that. My .02 on the whole thing. Whatever.

Just an FYI, I’m going to be posting my daily workouts again over on Instacrack because I don’t have time to bloggy blog every. single. workout. everyday, and besides that supes boring. I’m training for a race in Atlanta (The Possum Run 10K) on June 21st, while I’m down there visiting my prison wife, Kristi. I’ll probably write more about that tomorrow, because I’m following this awesome 4 week 10K training plan you might want to give a whirl for yourself. It’s been going SO WELL, I’m eyeballing other races in July and August. Methinks my mojo has been restored! Or it’s temporary insanity caused by Hi-Ball energy water. Who knows.

**The links in this post are affiliate links and I will receive a small commission if you make a purchase after clicking on my link.

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That Time I Went To A Group Fitness Class

group fitness

‘Sup peeps? Had some Adventures in Fitness® here over the last few days, and when that happens, I write a blog. Lucky you, right?

So for the 5 of you who didn’t just back click to whatever you were reading, here’s what’s going on in my neck of the woods.

Still on track, training is going very well, can’t complain about much… I’m doing everything I can to be consistent and stay injury free. I have been in a huge time crunch this week with work, life, staring off into space, etc. so I’ve been looking for ways to get as much bang for my buck, so to speak, with my workout each day. I need to keep rebuilding my fitness, but I have no time. WHAT AM I TO DO?!

I was lamenting this with my home slice Cara on Saturday night while we dunked various shellfish in drawn butter and drank wine, you know, what awesome champions do, and she suggested, “Take classes all week!” Then proceeded to tell me the various forms of human torture our chain of healthclubs offers us for free. All with insane names like, “Shred your brain and pray for death!” and “Insane sweat beasts dancing with dumbells!”

Group fitness? Like Jazzercise? Someone cute and perky on a headset yelling out choreography to sped up club remixes of Top 40 songs? Uh…no.

But Cara insisted that these classes were just like those videos from “The Firm,” which I actually quite like, and I would get a huge workout in a small amount of time.

Ok, then. I’ll give it a whirl.

The first class I tried was a cardio/light weights/step aerobics class called, “Two left feet and a sore ass” or something. All I know is that as soon as I walked in, I was living my life-long nightmare of being the big, slightly awkward girl, in a room full of gorgeous lululemon clad, perfectly ironed ponytail, housewives. Great. This won’t suck AT ALL.

Actually, it was fine, and I’m typing in a full body cast today it was such an intense workout. My glutes haven’t been this sore since that time in Tijuana… maybe I don’t have to tell you every story.

The next day it was time for, “Ninja Turtle Calf Shred” or whatever. Basically it’s a kickboxing, karate, plyometrics class with weighted weapons. Again, the band of gorgeous people were there, and my red-faced moose self towered over them and the ground probably shook a little when my feet hit the floor. I was DONE by the end of this class. Insanely hard. As I huffed and puffed, clutching my chest, screaming, “BUT I RUN MARATHONS!” while everyone bounced around me with what seemed to be endless energy… no wonder these women are tiny. I felt like I needed an all you can eat buffet after this one.

It also left me so sore I can only move my eyelids at this point.

While I wasn’t happy that Group Fitness classes seemed to bring me back to my insecure ginormous 9 year old self sick with envy over all of the cute, tiny girls…it is fun to try different things and see where exactly your fitness is lacking. You get comfortable in thinking that running handles most of your needs, maybe you do some core work and lift weights here and there, but one of these classes doing total body fitness is an eye opener for how weak your body truly is in spots.

Will I stick with it after this week? I have no idea. Right now it’s fun, and I’m feeling the burn so to speak. Tomorrow I’m taking a class called, “XTREME Body: You’re Going To Wish You Were Never Born” so that might change. I guess the real test will be how it has improved my running fitness. I ran a quick 4-miler after class yesterday, and it was ridiculously easy after juggling 15lb weights while standing on my head. If I start wearing lululemon instead of regular clothes and flat ironing my ponytail before class, though, I demand someone stage an intervention.

How to Run Hills… Without Hating Your Life

JAR Hill post

During my hill workout yesterday, I thought to myself, “Self, you are really good at running hills. Mayhap (I always talk to myself in Shakespeare) you should write about running hills. Because it’s not a topic that has been covered 7 million times or anything…”

I know. You can get actual knowledge from real experts about this exact topic. Most of which say you should lean in to the hill, slow your pace, shorten your stride, and use your arms to help power you up, then make your way down. I’ve actually listened to this advice when training, because WRITTEN BY EXPERTS, but I never found it helpful. To me I found it to be too much to think about while trying to do something hard. That simply doesn’t work in my brainspace. I’ll trip or something. Also, you look dumb leaning forward with a short stride, furiously pumping your arms. I might wear wacky compression socks in public, but I’m not about to look dumb, people.

So while I was chugging up that monster hill that I swear on all things holy (it’s in front of a monastery, so yeah) will get you in shape in a matter of days, I decided to put my own spin on things and talk about how me, a person naturally good at running hills, runs hills. I made a point to check in and make a list of the things I was doing to help you, my fellow runners.

Flat backs, people. 

I used to have a skating coach that would scream, “FLAT BACK!” because a natural tendency for a human is to either break at the waist and pitch forward when things are physically hard, or sit back on your heels and arch your back. A flat back is important for both going up and down hill because you will want to break at the waist while you climb, then sit back on your heels when you descend while arching your back. Both will get you eating chips on the couch rather quickly because these postures will get you injured. So think “belly button to spine” which will engage your core muscles and make your glutes handle the work. Yes, you will pitch a bit going up, and lean back a bit going down because gravity is a thing, but you will have your body in alignment and working efficiently.

Put your booty in it

Like I briefly touched on in the last point, you want your glutes (your big ol’ butt, anatomy flunkies) to do the work. They are one of the largest muscle groups in your body, and are built to handle some work. Not your hamstrings, not your knees, your glutes. This is where foot placement comes into play. You have to…HAVE TO…have a forefoot strike. Even if you try to strike oil and heel strike your heart out when the hill is over, while you’re doing your thing ascending and descending, STAY OFF YOUR DAMN HEELS. This will engage your glutes, take the stress off your knees and hamstrings, and let the big muscles handle the big job.

Don’t mess with your stride or pump your arms like crazy

Your stride isn’t going to make or break your hill speed. Maybe it does if you’re like, a real runner, but for we mere mortals, we aren’t typically climbing mountains, and our regular old middle of the pack stride is just fine. Also, don’t flap your arms and pump them like a mental patient. All that’s going to do is make you tired and give you a side ache…and you will look really dumb. Like, really dumb.


I always take a deep breath at the base of a hill and just start chugging. The faster you get up, the faster you’re done. Because they’re hard work, you tend to puff like you’ve shoveled asbestos your whole life and pretty much give yourself a coronary by the time you get up the hill. This is where I like to use good ol’ Yoga breath. Breathe in for three counts, breathe out for three counts. It also keeps your mind off the “Holy freaking cow I’m on a freaking hill that isn’t going to end, I’m probably going to die here, and oh yeah, I HATE MY LIFE.”

Distract yourself

Mind games always work. Just like I pointed out in the last post, doing something like counting your breathing will occupy so much space in your simple animal brain, you will simply forget you are dying whilst running up a hill. Some runners I know do math, I happen to be rapping my favorite Jay-Z song as loud as possible because I don’t want to look dumb, I want to sound insane…whatever you have to do to get your mind off the task at hand, pull a Nike and just do it.

I’m not an expert, but I’m good at getting this body of mine up hills pretty easily so maybe a little bit of what I do will help you. Or maybe it’s more useless running information you file in the back of your mind. Really though, the only way to get really good at running hills is to…um…run them. Don’t treat this like a speed workout on the track (me) and put it off. You’re going to be at the end of a 15k race when you turn the corner and oh look, there’s a monster hill and you’re going to go up that thing hating your life and wonder why you didn’t run more hills. So go run some hills already!